This is a difficult situation as there are people who say that you should not date your cousin while others who say that it’s perfectly fine.
Here are some considerations to make first and foremost. As I am sure you are well aware, society frowns on cousins dating. Given that I don’t truly care what society thinks, it doesn’t bother me one bit… but you need to realize that we live in a society that may lash out on you.
So even before we get to whether or not your cousin feels the same, you must be prepared for what society will say. Again, given that I’m a gay man in a society that has more often than not shunned me… it’s quite possible to develop a thick skin to not worry about what society thinks.
When people have asked me before regarding cousins, I live by a simple philosophy. If you are both adults, you make each other happy, and there is no offspring (there are definitely proven health issues that can come up)… then I have no issue with it at all. Why not? Who am I to say what is right or wrong?
Now I do want to back up a little more… you mention liking your cousin. Does your cousin like you? This is also something to consider if you don’t know the answer to that question. If you have no idea how your cousin feels, I can tell you that once you start down this path… things with your cousin will absolutely change. Granted, it could be better than you ever thought and you two are together… or it could go very poorly and you’re explaining to your mother why her nephew is uncomfortable due to you asking him out on a date.
Unfortunately, you’re going to have to weigh out what you feel should be your direction. I can’t tell you which direction to head. I know that boxing up those feelings inside for your cousin isn’t healthy, but I also know how society views those relationships. Both roads are hard ones to travel so you need to decide for yourself which path you would like to take.
It does sound like there are still a lot of variables up in the air. For you to move forward with this, you need to be absolutely sure of how you feel. This really isn’t something that you can just reset the clock on and everyone will forget. You will undoubtedly see your cousin many many many times over and if things don’t go so well … it may be a bit difficult to be around him for awhile.
I hope that helps. I’ll never judge the direction you take. I want to make sure you’re armed with all the information that I can think of on what you may be facing. It’s not easy, for sure, but I hope by dissecting it this way… it will help you make a clearer choice on how you feel you should proceed.
Good luck! And let me know what you decide to do. :-)
Time. That truly is the best way to get over a person.
I know, I wish there was a quick fix to get over someone quickly… but there really isn’t.
I’ve heard that it takes half the time of the relationship to get over someone. So if you were with someone for a year, it would take 6 months to get back on track. Of course, it’s just a general thought on the matter. Some people take a lot less time…and others take a whole lot more… but in all instances… it’s TIME that made it happen.
What else can be done? Well, another thing to consider is that they are an ex for a reason (or many reasons). That will help when you start to think about all the “good times”… what do I mean? It’s important to focus on why the two of you are no longer together so you can start putting them in the right light… ie… seeing them the right way.
So for instance, if the two of you fought a lot, think back to those times when you start to miss how things were. You HAVE to keep things in perspective and see them for what they ARE versus what you’ve imagined them to be in your head.
It is very easy to start missing a person that isn’t the one for you. It’s really easy to see them in such a way that you “forget” all of the reasons that you are no longer together.
Granted, I don’t think you will always have to think of your ex that way…just until you have had long enough to get over how things were and see them for what they are now.
And that takes us all back to TIME. Keeping the right perspective and giving it time… that’s the best way, in my opinion, to get over an ex.
I hope that helps!
Thank you so much for the feedback! And you are absolutely correct… you are not and never will be alone. YOU too. If you need anything, I’m here as well.
Anyone can text/call at any time. I can’t always say that I’ll be able to talk, but I will always message back once I get back to my phone.
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Last Saturday my boyfriend and I took his dads truck out to there land in the country. In the bed of the truck we had a queen size blow up mattress, blankets, and stuff to cook. when we get there we set up the mattress and I started to cook us dinner. once it’s finished we laid on the mattress, watched the stars, and ate wrapped up in all the blankets. Once we finished we laid there snuggling and looking up at the night sky. Not long after we started to kiss and following shortly we were taking each others clothe off. We ended up having amazing sex in the back of his dads truck under the night sky. When we finished we laid under the blankets naked and fell asleep there under the stars until the next morning when we pretty much repeated everything over again. it was amazing!
Such a fantastic story! Thank you so much for sharing it!! Wow! RAWR!
Well, first things first… I am proud of you. Struggling with depression, anxiety and body image is no easy thing to get through. I am truly proud of you.
You won’t be alone your whole life because of your baggage. I can assure you that. Why am I so confident? People love us for who we are. They don’t care what baggage we bring along with us.
It seems imaginable that someone could ever see past all the crud we have in our lives… all the scars and emotional craziness that we have been through… but flip it around. Ask yourself this… If you were in love with this man that makes you happy… and he started talking about all the things that were in his past… would you love him less? It’s an easy answer. Of course you wouldn’t love him less.
We always think that what we have been through would be hard to see past… but it’s because we’re the ones who went through it. I can assure you… from every fiber of my being… I promise you… your man will see right past all the baggage. :-)
So I would recommend focusing on that fact. Focus on the knowledge that your man is going to look past all of that and just wrap you in his arms… KNOWING all of what you have been through.
Love is a beautiful thing. You will have it. I absolutely have no doubt in my mind. And when you find him, I want you to come back here and tell us all how it went down. :-)
That’s the focus I would take when trying to get past this roadblock. To me, it’s truly not a matter of IF you meet him but just a matter of WHEN you meet him. :-)
Let me know if that helps.
gay male love
I thought of you when I saw this, Kevin… keep on being the beautiful cocksucker that you are!
Awww… thank you! That was really funny… hahaha…
i would love to fall asleep like this tonight!